It feels like yesterday when Tyler and I said our vows and sealed the deal with a kiss. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about that perfect March day. Somehow, I blinked and five months have passed since then. FIVE!
Marriage has been such a blessing.
Half of the time, I feel like we have spent our entire lives together, bickering as we will in 50 years. The other 50% feels like we are honeymooners straight off the plane, giddy with excitement and eager to learn new things about each other.
Both are good feelings; it’s a nice balance.
The past five months have been the absolute best of my life. Not without a challenge, of course. But I love a good challenge!
You learn a lot about someone when you are with them 24/7. Their highs, their lows, and everything in between. Some marriage advice from a newlywed is to find joy in the journey!
Here are some fun lessons I have learned along the way:
- Marriage is easy. Living with someone is hard.
I love Tyler to death!
I love everything that comes along with him being my husband. I love his friends, his family, his boyish obsession with his Jeep. (Ok maybe I don’t love that.)
That stuff is easy to love. But I do not love that he leaves the same pair of gym shorts on the bathroom floor, 2 inches away from the laundry hamper. Who does that?!
I don’t love his dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is clearly dirty, either. And unfortunately, I am too stubborn to just put the shorts and dishes away.
Living with someone is hard. (Disclaimer: coping with my stubbornness is harder. Kudos to Tyler for dealing with that.)
2. Money is not everything, but it matters.
Something I have picked up on when talking to most couples is that there is typically a “spender” and a “saver” in every relationship. It maintains a healthy balance.
It’s important to find balance in your relationship, especially when it comes to your finances.
When Tyler and I went to premarital counseling, money was a topic that was briefly discussed. We felt confident in our financial plans. We figured out what would work best for us and made it happen.
A lot of arguments can stem from money. I would be lying if I said we didn’t argue about it at times, but a good framework will help lessen those. I think time helps, too.
Learning what financial balance worked for us was a game-changer. Once we were on the same page, everything else fell into place.
Money is important, but we cannot take it with us. Don’t let it control your life!
3. Say ‘goodbye’ to your selfish ways.
Let’s be honest, we are all a little selfish.
The other day I read a post on Facebook that encouraged all twenty-somethings to enjoy their “selfish years.” I instinctively laughed at the notion because how can a marriage work if you are selfish?
Oh, that’s right, it can’t!
You can’t always buy things you want and you have to plan things if you want them to happen, but it is so worth it.
I am so thankful to be spending my selfish years working to be selfless. Not only is it making me a better wife, but also a better person and Christian.
Putting others first – isn’t that what we are called to do?
4. Get ready to schedule.
I didn’t know two seemingly unimportant people could have such hectic schedules.
For about 5 minutes, Tyler and I thought we were popular.
This was until we realized all of our time was now being shared amongst 2 full-time jobs, 2 families, and a lot of friends! Not including any time for just the two of us.
Gone are the days where we could make last-minute plans for the weekend. Now, we have to check our family calendar and plan dinner with friends weeks in advance!
Boy, are we in for a surprise once we have kids?!
Maybe this is a sign we are adults now. Or maybe, just maybe, we are popular?
I didn’t think so either.
5. Can I love someone too much?
I don’t know if it’s the fact that Tyler got me a black lab puppy, or how he surprises me with “just because” flowers, or because he is just so cute, but I cannot get enough of this man!
(Except when he leaves his clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink.)
And hey, I guess we are only five months in, but that is five whole months spent loving each other like crazy!
We are so blessed to have found each other young. I am constantly thanking the Lord for this extra time we spend loving and cherishing one another.
We may still be in our honeymoon phase, but I hope that love never fades. I pray we still love each other at 50 years like we love each other at 5 months.
Let’s normalize a forever honeymoon phase!
Marriage has been the greatest blessing I have ever experienced. I have grown individually, spiritually, and collectively with Tyler.
In five short months, I have seen a glimpse into what the future holds for two adult-ish kids who are madly in love. A future filled with love, laughter, and many more dirty dishes. (Let’s just pray they are in the dishwasher this time.)
Abby Phillips 
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